Relationship Problem:

We’ve been married 21 years with 2 teenage children. Recently my husband’s been acting strangely. I fear he may have a mental illness. He says something then denies he’s said it. He goes off at trivial things then carries on as if nothing happened. Some things he says to me are abusive. I don’t know what to do.

Relationship Advice:

Ask if there’s anything worrying him. Tell him he seems stressed and you’d like to understand and be sympathetic. If this isn’t the case, treat it as bad behaviour. Tell him when he’s being inconsistent or rude and that it’s unacceptable and a bad example to the children. Don’t psychologise, judge or make him wrong. State your need not to be talked to like that. If none of this makes a difference see a therapist to see if it’s deemed a behavioural problem or a personality disorder. This will make clearer what strategies to use.